


Light The Corners of My Mind

by j__writes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j__writes/pseuds/j__writes
Summary: “What do you mean Magnus is gone?”The silence that fills his office is suffocating. Alec looks between his mom and Isabelle, their worried eyes doing nothing to settle the dread that’s crept into the pit of his gut. He’s hoping it’s all a misunderstanding. That somehow his more than capable mother and sister have made a grave mistake.--After their break up, Magnus has Asmodeus erase his memories of Alec.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 248





	Light The Corners of My Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pop14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pop14/gifts).



> For Annie

“What do you mean Magnus is gone?” 

The silence that fills his office is suffocating. Alec looks between his mom and Isabelle, their worried eyes doing nothing to settle the dread that’s crept into the pit of his gut. He’s hoping it’s all a misunderstanding. That somehow his more than capable mother and sister have made a grave mistake.

“Alec,” Isabelle starts and she’s doing that thing with her voice - the soft hesitant tone she uses when she’s trying to lessen the blow for Alec. 

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Alec,” his mother says and she makes her way around his desk to rest a hand on his shoulder.

The touch threatens to crumble him; he sucks in a breath and closes his eyes. He’s a second away from losing it completely but that’s never helped before. He’s always said,  _ emotions are nothing but a distraction _ and maybe he always believed that was the case… until he met Magnus. Now he knows it’s a lot easier said than done to put one’s emotions to the side. 

“How did you find out?”

Izzy clears her throat and takes a step forward. “Catarina contacted us. She didn’t really go into details but…”

“Could she have made a mistake?” His words are coming out too sharp, too abrasive against his sister when she’s done nothing wrong. He takes in a steadying breath and tries again. “How positive was she?”

“She said she got a signature for his magic for a moment and then… it was gone.”

Alec’s head snaps up to look at her and she shakes her head quickly. “She doesn’t think he’s gone like that. She just feels like his magic has moved somewhere else. And Asmodeus’ magic can’t be sensed anymore either. We’re pretty positive he’s taken Magnus back to Edom with him. He must have made some kind of deal to get his magic back—”

“No. Magnus wouldn’t—he wouldn’t just”—Alec hangs his head in his hands, his fingers combing through his hair and he grips onto the strands to ground himself—“he wouldn’t leave me like that.”

“What happened between you two?”

His mom’s grip tightens on his shoulder. “Izzy.”

“I’m just trying to figure things out. I want to help,” Izzy says. 

“I-I…”

God, how can Alec even admit to what he did? How can he admit to breaking Magnus’ heart? How can he even begin to explain to them and help them understand why he turned his back on the love of his life? Will they understand that Magnus losing his magic made him lose a part of himself and that Alec couldn’t stand to see him so sad and empty without it? They won’t. They won’t understand that Alec would’ve never been enough to fill that void left behind in his magic’s place. He wasn’t enough. 

The very real fear of Magnus actually leaving him behind settles cold and unforgiving in his chest. He’s right, Magnus would never leave Alec behind but that was before—that was before Alec broke his heart.

He sits up, straightening his back to look at his sister. They may not understand but they need to know if he hopes to try and get any help on getting Magnus back. He doesn’t want to humor the thought of Magnus running away to Edom just because they broke up. Magnus loves this city and he loves the people he shares a life with here. Alec or not, he wouldn’t have left it all behind. Especially not after Alec made the deal to get his magic back. 

“I broke up with him.”

Isabelle’s patient and empathetic smile slowly melts to form a scowl. “You did  _ what _ ?”

“Asmodeus. He told me I was holding him back and he agreed to give Magnus his magic back but only if I… broke his heart.”

“And you did it? You believed him? Alec, are you serious?”

“Isabelle,” their mother bites out and Izzy clamps her mouth shut, jaw clenching. 

“He was unhappy, I could see it in his eyes. I could tell when he spoke to me. Maybe you couldn’t see it, Iz, but I could. He would have never been happy without his magic.”

“That wasn’t for you to decide,” she snaps. As if he doesn’t already know. As if the logical part of himself hasn’t been beating himself up for not trying to see if there was another solution. 

“Well, it’s too late to change anything now! If what Catarina is saying is true then he’s gone. Asmodeus probably took him and now we’ve got to find a way to get him back.”

“And we will.” His mom settles him with determined grasp on his shoulder. “We will. But blaming yourself isn’t going to get us any closer to bringing him back. What’s done is done and now we have to figure things out.”

He drops his head, letting out a heavy sigh. “I just don’t get it. I did what Asmodeus asked. I… I broke his heart. I let him go. He was supposed to get his magic back and be fine.”

Isabelle sighs softly before walking around to his side of the desk. “I’m not at all surprised that a greater demon like Asmodeus broke his promise.” She rakes her fingers through his hair. “Maybe Catarina can help us, okay? Talk to her. I’ll get Jace and Clary so they can help too.”

Alec nods, breathes in and sits up. “Thanks,” he says. “I’ll call her right now. The sooner we get Magnus back, the better.”

.

The following hours are spent in a rush of scrambled communication and half formed ideas that led them nowhere until Clary had the idea to use an  _ alliance _ rune –or so she calls it– to tie him to Catarina. Apparently he needs a demonic bond of some sort in order to even enter Edom. And Catarina is one of the few people he trusts. 

Alec looks at the mark on his palm, he’s never seen anything like it. It’s not in the gray book and it’s unlike anything he’s ever seen. The idea of a new rune and the extent of Clary’s power would make him uneasy if it wasn’t their only hope in getting Magnus back. Right now, all he can think is that it’s a blessing. He’s lucky. He’ll have to thank her when he’s not in the process of swapping powers with Catarina. 

Alec is familiar with the feeling of magic. He’s used to Magnus’ and the warmth it filled him with - that spark across his skin as if the very air around him is charged. Magic has always felt like a living thing, at least Magnus’ did. It could soothe him with a simple touch when he needed it. He likes to think that Magnus’ magic recognizes him, knows him. 

Catarina’s magic is different, instead of that energy Magnus’ is full of, hers is soothing and peaceful. Like a faint whisper ghosting over his skin. 

Clary is finished drawing the rune on Catarina’s skin and now the real mission begins.

_ This has to work. _

He doesn’t know what awaits him in Edom but he knows there’s no going back now, not that he would. He would go to the ends of the Earth for Magnus. He lost Magnus once and he intends on getting him back and never letting go - even if that means staying in Edom.

Catarina chants a spell in a language Alec has never heard before and a magical bond shoots through him; he can feel it connecting him with Catarina even more than the rune. There’s a heavy wind and before he knows it, he’s standing on red dirt. The land around them looks barren and dead. His friends and family surrounding him have disappeared, only Catarina left by his side, holding tightly onto his hand. 

The demonic energy surrounding them brings her magic crashing to the surface. He can feel it pressing against his palms, his fingertips, even the soles of his feet feel alive with it, burning with the need to flow out of him. The wind kicks up violently around them, her magic prickling across his skin. Demanding.

“Alec.” Catarina holds her hands out to him. “The energy here is going to make my magic stronger than it was on Earth. I need you to relax or you will lose control of your magic.”

“I’m calm. I’m fine. I’m just…” He looks around some more, trying to see through the dust whirling around him, ignoring the magic’s demands. “Where’s Magnus? It looks empty here.”

Catarina shakes her head. “I don’t know but if you lose control, we won’t find him. So, please, take a deep breath and calm down.” 

He breathes out and pinches his eyes shut. He doesn’t have time for this. He needs to find Magnus, not worry about what this temporary magic of his wants. He focuses on Magnus and how alone he must feel. He uses that to drive the magic back down. He pushes it away until the dust around him stops swirling and he can breathe easily. 

“Good job,” Catarina says with a sigh of relief and she smiles proudly at him. “Let’s go find Magnus. I’m sure he’s not far.”

Alec’s not sure what he expected of Edom and he’s never taken the time to imagine what hell looks like but he’s pretty sure this barren wasteland of rocks and cliffs is exactly what he would have pictured if he had. There’s a crumbling structure in the distance, not too far and the only possibly habitable building in the area, so that’s where they head. 

Up close the building is in far worse condition than he imagined. Asmodeus who considers himself demonic royalty living in this waste and bringing Magnus to live here is almost laughable. Just one glance at it and Alec knows there’s no way Magnus is willingly here. 

“I’m going to check the perimeter. You go inside and see if you can find Magnus,” Catarina says. 

“Okay.” He nods and drags his eyes up the crumbling walls. It’s bigger than what he thought but it’s the best chance they have at finding Magnus. 

.

Alec would know that profile anywhere. That strong frame and the way his back curves down to his slim waist. It’s Magnus. He’s here and he’s safe, standing by a large glassless window looking over the land surrounding them. 

He’s filled with relief like he’s never felt before. Like a weight that had been crushing him has been lifted off his chest. 

“Magnus!” he calls and Magnus faces him with a sharp turn. And the face Alec’s learned every detail of is distant and frowning. His eyes don’t light up, his lips don’t form that soft smile Alec’s grown used to, there’s something different - something off about the way he looks at him. 

“Who are you?”

Alec skids to a stop and his heart thunders in his chest. That’s what’s different. Magnus is looking at him as if he doesn’t know him. Like the countless mornings they’ve spent in bed together never happened.

A flash of blue magic flares in Magnus’ palm. “Who are you?” Magnus repeats, each word sharp and gutting. 

“Magnus,” Alec says, “it’s me. Alec.”

Magnus doesn’t move, he doesn’t even blink. “Should that mean something to me?”

Alec has suffered near fatal injuries in battle throughout his long years as a shadowhunter but nothing has quite hurt as much as those words. 

“What? What are you saying? Of course it should mean something to you. We—” he takes a step closer, his stomach dropping at the flash of magic Magnus summons. His body washes over in a cold dread as he stares back at what is basically a stranger to him now. “What did he do to you?”

.

The dark haired man—Alec—comes to a halt. His expression makes it seem as if Magnus has somehow committed the biggest betrayal. He has a handsome face, one Magnus  _ knows  _ he would recognize but his mind is drawing a blank when he tries to place the name Alec with the face. There’s nothing there, centuries of memories and not one has this man’s face in it, which can only mean that this shadowhunter is lying. He must want something, to have come to Edom, pretending he knows Magnus when Magnus has done his best to avoid involving himself in all shadowhunter business for the past century. 

“I’m sorry, Alec,” he says, drawing the name out, trying it on for size. It feels foreign in his mouth. But at the edges of each syllable there's familiarity, as if the name could mean something to him if he changed it just a little. If he maybe moved his mouth slightly slower or dragged it out or filled the name with more emotion.

Not that he knows what emotion he could even use with this shadowhunter. He feels too empty to even try and his heart misses something dearly and he wishes he could remember what it was. 

“Alexander,” the man whispers and Magnus may feel like a shell of a person but he can definitely define the expression on the man’s face as wounded. “Y-you call me Alexander.”

His heart thuds and he misses someone. He doesn’t have time to deal with meddling shadowhunters who try to play his emotions against him. 

“You say that as if we’re familiar with each other.” Magnus keeps the magic in his palms up in a defensive position, ready for whatever attack the shadowhunter might have. 

There’s tears welling in the shadowhunter’s eyes and Magnus catches his heart aching at the sight. 

Oh. He’s good.

“What did he do?” Alec repeats, taking another step forward while the glimmer of a seraph blade shines against his thigh.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Magnus says, stepping forward.

“Catarina. She’s here, she can—”

Magnus pauses. “Catarina?” 

The man nods.

Catarina here? In Edom? It’s been awhile since he and Catarina have caught up, with life getting in the way but he knows she’s not here. She would never come here. She always did her best to distance herself from any connection to Asmodeus. Not that Magnus ever blamed her. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing here himself. But it feels important. He imagines it must be. 

He shakes his head. His dear friend being here in Edom is too good to be true. He may not feel much but he feels hollow enough to know that he must have done something to create this void in his life. He must have distanced himself for some time. There’s no way she’s here, especially not with a shadowhunter.

“I don’t believe you,” he says and he lashes out with his magic. He’s not going to hurt the man but he can’t let him get close. He’s not stupid and he’s learned his lesson when it comes to trusting shadowhunters.

“Magnus, I promise—” Alec throws his arms up to shield the magic sent his way. 

He’s a fool if he thinks that is enough to protect him from Magnus’ power if he truly wished to hurt him. His magic meets the shadowhunter and there’s a sharp flash forcing itself in Magnus’ mind. It’s quick but it’s enough to give Magnus pause. 

_ “No. I love that face.” _

He recoils and presses the heel of his hand to his forehead. “What did you say?”

Alec shakes his head. “I promise I’m not lying—”

“After that!”

“Nothing.” The shadowhunter, completely unscathed, keeps his arms up in front of him. “I didn’t say anything.”

Magnus sends more magic at the man, there’s no telling how dangerous he is and Magnus needs to keep him secure, just until he can figure out why his head is suddenly pounding. 

_ “When things get crazy, don’t push me away.” _

This time the voice Magnus hears is his own. There’s a glimpse of a man, not clear enough for him to distinguish but he can feel the memory of warmth from a hand in his. It’s strong and comforting. 

He pushes his magic some more, not trusting whatever is happening. 

_ “Were you really afraid I was gonna go?” _

So much tenderness in one question. It hits Magnus with a fondness that brings his heart to flutter. 

He lets his magic fall away and he clutches at his head, pressing his fingertips into his scalp as more words and images flush through. 

Golden sheets. Golden sunlight.

_ “What are you afraid of?” _

_ “Acid wash jeans.” _

Bar chatter. The glide of a pool stick. The sharp bite of vodka on his tongue. 

_ “Seventeen th—” _

_ “Seventeen?”  _ A goofy smile and the nervous twinge in his gut. 

_ “I always knew I couldn’t have what I wanted. Until you came along.” _

Cold night air on a fire escape. The sounds of Brooklyn and busy streets down below.

_ “You’d blow up the very ground you stand on to make it right.” _

“St-stop.” Magnus grasps onto the strands of his hair, pulling as if it can possibly stop the influx of visions. 

“Magnus, please.”

“What are you doing to me?” Magnus shouts hard enough he feels his throat burn.

“I’m not doing anything. Magnus, please, it’s  _ me _ \- Alec.”

Magnus screams when his magic hits the shadowhunter again. He feels the phantom sensation of fingertips lightly grazing his stomach and laughter against his lips. 

_ “Magnus, they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” _

It’s all too much. The feeling of longing and absolute adoration for a faceless stranger is overwhelming and he needs to get away to try and make sense of whatever is happening with him and his magic. All he can figure is that somehow this shadowhunter has something to do with it. 

He pulls his magic back into him and drops to his knees, cradling his head in his hands. He can make out the sound of the shadowhunter screaming. Asmodeus is back and he’s saying something to the man - something Magnus can’t make out, not over the buzzing of voices filling his head. 

The shadowhunter is screaming again and Magnus pinches his eyes shut and shakes his head. He wants it to stop. He wants Asmodeus to stop. He wants that shadowhunter—Alec—to stop screaming. 

He wants Alec to stop being in pain.

It makes no sense. He shouldn’t care. But yet, he does. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was here for something. He came to Edom for  _ something _ , he knows. And one minute he was here… doing  _ what _ he doesn’t know. Come to think of it, he doesn’t remember why or even when he came down here. There’s a fog when he tries to remember and it’s impossible to focus with cries coming from around him. 

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it,” he whispers to himself. His throat burns with the need to cry at every whimper he hears from Alec. There’s a visceral part of him that needs to protect but that doesn’t make sense either. He doesn’t know the man. 

“Magnus!” 

Magnus winces at the call of his name and shakes his head again, willing it to all go away. 

There’s another cry. He can’t stand it anymore. He forces himself to open his eyes.

Alec is on his knees while Asmodeus’ magic winds around him in striking red lines that pierce in places with its thorns. Magnus’ stomach turns and he pushes his magic towards the shadowhunter, he’s not sure halfway through the motion what his intentions are but the moment his magic touches Alec, relief marks itself on his face and Asmodeus’ magic fades. 

_ “Pretty boy, get your team ready.” _

His magic feels like it’s bursting to life inside him. He feels full with it and the blue power pours from his fingers, rushing to protect this shadowhunter. It guides Magnus until he pulls hard enough to break Asmodeus’ hold.. 

_ “It’s supposed to bring you luck and protection.” _

Asmodeus heaves on the ground beside the shadowhunter, shoulders hunched over in pain. “Magnus, what have you done?”

He doesn’t know. He’s still holding his hand out though, and the magic sparks in the gaps of his fingers and licks across his palms - alive and angry. It pulls on him with a desperate need to keep Alec safe. It had felt so dormant only moments ago and now it’s electrifying to the point he can feel it raise the hairs on his arms. 

“Leave him alone,” Magnus warns. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Asmodeus spits out, his eyes flashing red with anger as he struggles to stand. “You should be directing your magic at him!” he howls, a shaking finger pointed at the shadowhunter. “He’s the enemy!”

Magnus shakes his head. He may not know the shadowhunter but he knows he’s not an enemy. He’s something else - an ally - a friend, perhaps. Magnus isn’t sure, he just knows that he is something more - much more. 

“I don’t think he is,” Magnus says and the shadowhunter’s eyes look brighter when his gaze falls on him. 

A snarl. A flash of red. A flash of blue. 

_ “You continue to surprise me.” _

_ “In good ways, I hope.” _

A clashing of power. 

_ “I’m not going anywhere.” _

Warmth.

_ “I told you not to flirt with me.” _

Safety.

_ “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.” _

Love.

_ “Alec.” _

That hole, that emptiness he’s felt embedded in his chest begins to fill. It fills with memories, happiness, and an all encompassing love. It fills with Alexander Lightwood. A shadowhunter, the Head of the New York Institute, the love of his life, the man he once wanted to spend the rest of his life with, yet somehow he ended up here with his mind scrambling to collect all of their time together. They crash into him like a wave and he’s overcome, dropping to his knees, clutching at his head. 

Distantly he can hear Asmodeus’ groans of pain, Alec’s labored breathing, and his own cries. Tears spill down his cheeks. 

_ “I don’t think I can live without you.” _

Magnus can’t—he can’t live without Alexander. 

He pushes up to his knees, his body full of magic that seeps to his fingertips, burning with the need to shield Alexander from anymore harm. 

He looks at his father—Asmodeus—and he truly sees him as he is, a manipulative monster who took advantage of Magnus at his weakest moment. Only through magic could Magnus actually forget the disdain he feels towards him, only through magic would he have ever agreed to come to Edom. Magnus was weak when he asked for his memories to be erased, he can still remember the heartache and even though Alec broke up with him, he’s here now and that has to mean something. 

“Son—” Asmodeus begins but Magnus doesn’t want to hear it. He’s tired of the trickery and the way Asmodeus’ words can curl up invitingly in your head full of promises that he never truly intends on keeping. Asmodeus does nothing if not for his own gain. 

“Don’t call me that,” Magnus hisses. “I am  _ not _ your son. You never knew what it meant to be a real father so don’t try it now.”

“Magnus, what,” Asmodeus stumbles. His eyes widen in panic and Magnus can spot the moment it all clicks in place for him. “How? How do you remember? My magic—”

“Some things are stronger than your magic. Maybe I wasn’t at first…” Magnus whips his magic out and it tightens around Asmodeus.

“M-Magnus.”

“But our love.  _ His _ love for me and my love for him is stronger than you could ever hope to be.”

Alec’s shoulders sag with relief and Magnus offers him a humble nod. He can’t apologize right now but he will. 

“I’m going to do what I should’ve done long ago.”

“You’re not powerful enough to defeat me,” Asmodeus chuckles weakly through the restraints Magnus has around him. “You’ve never been more powerful than me.”

Magnus shakes his head at him. He doesn’t have to be more powerful. That’s where Asmodeus was always wrong. Everything to him was about power and control. He forgets that there are bigger forces that are greater powers to have within. He’s sure he can defeat him, it might tire him out but he knows he can do it. 

“Alexander,” he says. 

“I’m with you,” Alec replies, his voice weak and hoarse.

“If you do this, you’ll be stuck here!” Asmodeus cries out, fear trembling in his tone. “If you stop now, I’ll let the boy live. I’ll get him out of here. He’ll be safe.”

He’s a liar, Magnus reminds himself. Magnus swallows, trying to rid the fear that’s heavy and choking in his throat. “Alexander, if I succeed…”

“It’s okay, Magnus.”

“If I succeed…” 

“Then I stay here, with you. I’m never leaving you again.” Alec looks up at him, eyes emboldened and sure. 

There’s a moment of uncertainty that nags at Magnus. He knows he’s ready to be rid of Asmodeus but the unknown of what will happen scares him enough to hesitate. But Alec gives him a small nod and Magnus takes it to give himself the courage he needs to tear open a portal going nowhere. It has no destination, not even in Magnus’ mind, Asmodeus will be lost in the limbo between time and space for eternity. 

“Goodbye, Asmodeus,” Magnus says. 

The sound of the portal closing is loud in the eerie silence that follows. Magnus stands with his hand outstretched, chest rising and falling heavily, stomach turning at the thought of what he just did. He won’t regret it though. It was about time he stood up to Asmodeus and put an end to the terror he always seemed to bring back to Magnus’ life every century or so. 

Alec stands with a grunt and Magnus rushes to him, wrapping an arm around his waist to bolster him up. “Alexander…”

“You remember me…” 

It’s a statement but also a question, hesitant but hopeful. 

“I do. I’m so sorry, Alexander. I don’t know why I—”

Alec shushes him gently with a soft press of his thumb to Magnus’ bottom lip. “It’s okay. I don’t care.”

“But I had you erased. I—I gave up...so easily.” The words get taken away in a firm press of lips and Magnus sighs into the feeling of being wholly embraced in Alec’s arms again. 

“We’ll talk about all that later, okay?” Alec nuzzles his nose in Magnus’ hair. “Let me enjoy this. Just for a minute, okay?”

His arms tighten around Magnus and Magnus lets himself go in the safety Alec’s arms and heartbeat provide. 

“I missed you,” he whispers into the skin of Alec’s neck, smiling at the satisfied exhale that follows. “Even though I couldn’t remember you, there was a part of me that missed you.”

Alec kisses him again, soft and lingering on his forehead. “I should have never left you. I promise you… I will never leave you again.”

Magnus nods. “I believe you.” 

Trust has always been an issue for Magnus and although they’ve had their ups and downs when it comes to matters of the Clave, they’ve worked through them. And now Magnus knows that Alec has earned his trust. If there is anyone he trusts in this world, it’s his loyal and fearless shadowhunter. 

“Not that I didn’t mean it when I said I am willing to stay here with you but would you like to try and escape?”

Magnus chuckles. “I guess I could give it a shot.”

A sound of magic comes from behind them. Beautiful, bright magic that he can feel like a comforting hug when it swirls past them. A hug and kiss of magic that feels like Catarina. 

He turns quickly and spots his friend standing at the entrance of the rubbled house. She smirks at him and shakes her head. “Alec, I know you weren’t about to abandon me here.”

Alec shakes his head, fast and fervently that it makes Magnus laugh. 

“I was just about to tell Magnus that we needed to find you.”

“After your little reunion I’m guessing.” She winks at them. 

“So much for minding the perimeter…” Alec grumbles. 

Catarina’s smile softens. “I’m sorry, I was ambushed by some erchomai…”

“I’m joking, Cat. It’s okay. Magnus saved me, right?”

She doesn’t give Magnus a chance to say anything before she’s nudging Alec away and pulling Magnus in for a tight hug. “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like this again, you hear me? I’m tired of saving your ass.”

Magnus scoffs but squeezes her back. “I think we’re pretty even on saving each other’s asses.”

“Well I’d still like to go another century or so before we have to do it again.” She pulls back and smiles at him. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Do you think we can make it out?” Alec asks.

“I was worried before I remembered Catarina was here to help.” Magnus takes Alec’s hand in his. “Let’s go home.”

Catarina takes Alec’s other hand and Magnus’ as well, forming a small circle between them. “Alec, it wouldn’t hurt if you tried to channel your magic into us as well.”

“Your what?” Magnus looks at the shocked expression Alec gives Catarina. 

“I-it’s not  _ my _ magic. It’s yours and I don’t know how to do anything with it.”

“I’m sorry, what’s going on? What magic?”

Catarina tightens her grip on Magnus’ hand and closes her eyes. “In order to get here we had to share my demon bond. Clary created a rune that linked us together. Alec now has access to magic he gained from me. It’s all temporary.”

“And I don’t know how to use it,” Alec cuts out, closing his eyes as well. 

“Just focus on it. That’s all I want you to do.”

Magnus giggles quietly at the way Alec can manage to roll his eyes even with his eyes closed. He joins them by closing his eyes and together they open a portal, tearing a hole through the walls that separate Edom from Earth. 

.

Magnus took them to the loft. It makes sense, this was their home, but being here now is a little unsettling. Alec doesn’t know if he should stay or go. The last time they spoke apart from the short time in Edom was when Alec was breaking Magnus’ heart and leaving him behind in his mother’s new store. He knows Magnus loves him, he knows Magnus misses him, but what he doesn’t know is if Magnus can ever forgive him for the pain he caused. Alec wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. 

He can’t say he could even blame Magnus if he decides he wants nothing to do with Alec from here on out. Loving someone is very different from choosing to forgive their biggest transgressions and staying with them. 

Alec broke his heart and left him. How could he possibly forgive him?

“You think so loudly, Alexander,” Magnus whispers, curling his arms around Alec’s waist. 

His heart shakes in his chest and he brings his hands up to rest atop Magnus’ to hold him in place because he never wants to leave his arms. “Sorry. It’s a bad habit.”

“We have a lot to think about. Talk about.”

Alec nods, ready to face the consequences of his actions. He shifts in Magnus’ hold and stills when he feels Magnus place a soft kiss at the nape of his neck. “Don’t.”

“Let me, Magnus,” Alec says and he forces his body to turn so he can face Magnus. He needs to look him in the eyes when he says his next words. “Let me apologize to you.”

Magnus nods and he looks sad but he never takes his warm brown eyes off of him. 

“I’m sorry. I made a lot of mistakes.” Alec licks his lips and takes in a bracing breath. “I went behind your back and made a deal with Asmodeus that would affect you without ever taking into consideration whether or not it’s what you really wanted. I have no excuse for that but please know that I only did it because I thought it would make you happier.”

“I—”

“No. Wait.”

Magnus stops himself and tips his chin to tell Alec he can continue. 

“I know now that I was wrong. It just hurt to see you suffering without your magic. I made the mistake of thinking that I was replaceable for you. I made the mistake of assuming I knew what was better for you and your future. And the biggest mistake I made was breaking your heart. I love you so much, Magnus, and I’m sorry I was the cause of pain for you.”

He catches his breath and nods once, ending his apology. It’s not the best one but he hopes it’s enough. 

“I forgive you,” Magnus says. His eyes glisten with unshed tears but his lips are curved in a fond smile. “Please don’t ever assume that anything could make me happier than you.”

His heart aches with regret and guilt, but Magnus presses a hand against his chest and he pushes it away. The pain that aches with every beat fades at the touch until it’s beating to the thrum of Magnus’ magicked fingertips. It beats with relief and forgiveness.

  
  



End file.
